detox
August 2008 
Silence is Golden and Mind games
Posted on Apr 12th, 2008
by 
Penelope
Penelope
If you've ever met me, you know I talk alot. Way alot. One of my buddies here is doing 2 days of Mauna - which is an ascetic pledge of silence. I'm going to go for it for one day. Anymore than that would be too much. I think that will be harder than the rigorous schedule they have us on. I mean, some people have a monkey mind, but I have an entire jungle in here. Combine that with verbal diarrhea, and you've got a real mess on your hands. Active listening has been a goal of mine and Mauna should be a big help. Maybe it will help my meditation too. If my mouth is silent, maybe my brain will take a hint.
I did a headstand for 3 minutes in class today. This is very exciting for me as that means I get to try to learn some of the fun variations. Asana class is such a relief from all the sitting and we can really let loose and be expressive. I was able to hold it longer in class than I usually can because talked myself into it. I started feeling shaky and I was like - that's just your mind. You are strong enough, you've done this. And I did it!
People are so nice to me here. It's really lovely and I get to sing twice a day. The other morning after our silent meditation walk on the beach, the leader asked for a volunteer from the course to lead the group in a song. Being a bit of a ham and knowing many of my peers would almost rather die than sing before a group of 100 people, I volunteered. Luckily, the song book has Day by Day in it - which is very short, easy to sing and a crowd pleaser. It was alot of fun. When I sing now, instead of being self conscous about my voice, I think of the comments my friend Little Pitta and other people made about how moved they have been during services when they heard me sing.
I wonder if I get to sing when I'm on my vow of silence?
I'm also seriously thinking about what's going to be my mantra. That's one of the main reasons I came here. It's so hard, but there's a book by Swami Vishnudevananda about meditation, so I think I'll read that first. I want a good one and I've been using the lack of an initiated mantra as a crutch to slack off in my meditation. At least my mind is distracted by something other than boys and beer!
Speaking of that, I was in anatomy class and I asked a question about what happens to blood flow when you drink alot - like I thought all your blood might go to the liver or something. Well - now everyone at the yoga retreat thinks I'm a margarita girl. In a cheeky way of course. It's been a week since I've even touched a glass of wine and I feel pretty fantastic despite the lack of sleep. I may have even recovered from my visit to the Owl Cigar Shop.
Om!
I did a headstand for 3 minutes in class today. This is very exciting for me as that means I get to try to learn some of the fun variations. Asana class is such a relief from all the sitting and we can really let loose and be expressive. I was able to hold it longer in class than I usually can because talked myself into it. I started feeling shaky and I was like - that's just your mind. You are strong enough, you've done this. And I did it!
People are so nice to me here. It's really lovely and I get to sing twice a day. The other morning after our silent meditation walk on the beach, the leader asked for a volunteer from the course to lead the group in a song. Being a bit of a ham and knowing many of my peers would almost rather die than sing before a group of 100 people, I volunteered. Luckily, the song book has Day by Day in it - which is very short, easy to sing and a crowd pleaser. It was alot of fun. When I sing now, instead of being self conscous about my voice, I think of the comments my friend Little Pitta and other people made about how moved they have been during services when they heard me sing.
I wonder if I get to sing when I'm on my vow of silence?
I'm also seriously thinking about what's going to be my mantra. That's one of the main reasons I came here. It's so hard, but there's a book by Swami Vishnudevananda about meditation, so I think I'll read that first. I want a good one and I've been using the lack of an initiated mantra as a crutch to slack off in my meditation. At least my mind is distracted by something other than boys and beer!
Speaking of that, I was in anatomy class and I asked a question about what happens to blood flow when you drink alot - like I thought all your blood might go to the liver or something. Well - now everyone at the yoga retreat thinks I'm a margarita girl. In a cheeky way of course. It's been a week since I've even touched a glass of wine and I feel pretty fantastic despite the lack of sleep. I may have even recovered from my visit to the Owl Cigar Shop.
Om!
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